Change

There comes a time when you have to make a change; evaluate what is truly important and make priorities. I have made mine, and FAMILY is what comes first. My son, my husband, myself, then all the other stuff. So, I am taking a leap of faith and making changes to my life that will make me a better mother, a better wife, a better person.

I will be quitting, or resigning as my boss told me to say, my position for the state by the end of the month. Its a decision I have been struggling with since October of 2008, maybe even September. I as ready to quit when that little stick said "Pregnant" and I decided I needed the paid maternity leave, so I would stick it out for the 9 months. After all, i would have 8 weeks leave after, then we would be moving within a year from that, so I thought I could handle that. Well, we didn't move far enough away that I had to quite, so that kicked up the depression. I didn't have a light at the end of the tunnel any more; couldn't really see the light. I kept telling myself I had to keep working for my son, for Joel. I had bills to pay. I wanted to be able to go to dinner every now and then, and so on. But when a situation, like this job, makes one so miserable, so unhappy, that it takes a toll on the most important role- wide and mother- it is time to call it quits. Not to mention the extra miles and time on the road that takes away time with my boys Its not a decision I snapped to, but thought and prayed, and believe this is what is in the best interest for me and my boys.

I have become a consultant for a really nice company, Thirty-One. No its not a main source of income, but something fun on the side, that still allows me to be a wife and mother. Yesterday, I mailed off resumes and letters of interest for subbing in local privates schools. I figured that with enough subbing, I would be able to pay my bills, still spend time with Logan, and be home in time to cook dinner. I got even better news when a principal of one of the schools called me, saying she was looking for a part time middle school science teacher, and if I would be interested. Um, YES!!!! So I am not getting too hopeful, as there might be issues as I am not certified. But, it might be something that is a quick fix. Either way, it certainly lifted my spirits, and made feel that I am making the right decision. I put my faith in God that he will take care of me and lead me through this. And that this will make me a better mommy and wife

On the sad note...Logan will no longer be going to his awesome and amazing sitter that he has been going to for almost a year! I am truly torn over this, and now get to stress over finding a new daycare!